


«Never»

by mynameissrain



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Eventual Romance, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Loss, M/M, Sad with a Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-16
Updated: 2019-11-16
Packaged: 2021-02-07 04:40:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21452176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mynameissrain/pseuds/mynameissrain
Summary: {Contains Another Story spoilers!!!}»After V's death, Jumin has been having really bad dreams, where the ghost of his dead childhood best friend would smile at him like he used to smile, or hold his hand, or hug him tightly enough for Jumin to feel his heart beating through his shirt. And now, that missing heartbeat was haunting him like a constant tick from a broken clock.Tick.Tick.Tick.All started April 17.
Relationships: Han Jumin/V | Kim Jihyun, Han Jumin/Zen | Ryu Hyun
Comments: 2
Kudos: 62





	1. Chapter 1

_The light entered softly through the white curtains. The sun still weak, due to its premature rise. Silence seemed to engulf the entire world when Jumin opened his eyes, receiving, back from the world of his dreams, the soft touch of the sheets carefully ironed by the maids; He stared at the ceiling, slowly regaining consciousness when a soft sigh caressed the back of his neck, causing a chill to run down his back._

_When his eyes finally fell on the small figure next to him, he swallowed unconsciously._

_Next to him, Jihyun was resting. His hair was all messed up, and the bangs his mother always tried to hold with jelly between laughter, (uselessly, by the way) fell on his eyes._

_Jumin swallowed, playing with the small buttons on the wrists of his pajamas' sleeves to distract the incoherent need that his best friend's hair always woke up at the tips of his fingers, followed by the phalanges and the most awake nerves of his palm. It wasn't that he had never touched Jihyun's hair, but it used to be by accident, and yet it was so soft that he felt it was tickling his fingertips._

_Jumin knew that Jihyun would fulfill his dream; that one day he would find a beautiful and smart girl, like his mother, and they would love each other very much. A woman who would make him toast with red fruit jam and smell like flowers, Jihyun said that girls who smell like flowers are the prettiest, and she would say she loves him very much, and he would blush like when Mother says that both are two handsome gentlemen. And his wife would let him draw her, and she could touch his hair, and he would take them by the hand too, like ..._

_The string of his thoughts stopped for a moment, while his frown slowly frowned._

_«Jihyun insists on holding my hand many times; when he can't sleep, when I can't sleep, when he wants to show me something ... »He thought, slowly pulling a thin thread that linked his words,« ... Does that mean he wants me to ...? »_

_"Jumin?" Asked the sleepy voice of the sleeping child beside him._

Jumin opened his eyes abruptly, waking up again in his bed, except that 18 years later. His heart was beating irregularly, as when he found an error in a document; his dream ended before he could see Jihyun's eyes. The voice came before the image of his best friend. Jumin cursed under his breath, filling his lungs with air in crushing defeat.

«God Jumin ... You have to stop dreaming always the same ...» He said, rubbing his eyes, trying to erase the translucent remnants of memory left from his dream.

He wasn't able to understand why he was unable to stop dreaming night after night with the same memory, like a curse that haunted him.

«That is Jihyun for me, a nightmare. A horrible nightmare. »Jumin closed his eyes as his thoughts left the reassuring whispering tone, demanding power, overflowing an overwhelming force that hit the walls of his skull. «Jihyun, the selfish. »His frown frowned, causing a puncture in the bridge of his nose. «Jihyun, the liar.» His phone started ringing with a slight __"ding"__ that didn't stop; based on the position of the sun, they should be the members of the RFA saying good morning.

«Jihyun the traitor. »

_Ding. _

«Jihyun the deceiver. »

_Ding ding. _

«Jihyun Rika's husband. »

_Ding. _

«Jihyun ...»

_Ding. _

Sweat began to agglomerate on his forehead, sticking the tips of his dark hair to the warm skin.

«Jihyun ...»

_Ding ding. _

_Ding ding. _

_Ding ding ding. _

"ENOUGH!" He exclaimed; Someone was calling him on his cell phone.

Sigh; Suddenly, the deafening cascade of thoughts had dissolved when the call polygon was activated. Which still sounded, vibrating on the nightstand.

He sat up lazily, reaching out to answer the phone while wiping the sweat from his forehead with the other arm's sleeve. He felt almost dizzy, he wondered if he was sick.

"Jumin Han speaking. Tell me." He replied automatically. His voice was still somewhat hoarse from his previous exclamation.

"Mr. Han, I was calling to ask you where you are." Said the voice of Jaehee, his assistant, from the other side of the line. If it weren't for the sudden headache he felt, he would have thought how ironic it was that Jaehee could sound more like a robot through the phone.

Jumin sighed reluctantly; "Where do you expect me to be? In my house, of course."

He heard the woman stifle a lament, distraught. In the background you could hear the monotonous click of the other workers.

"Mr. Han, half an hour ago, you should've been **here**, ready for your meeting with the construction company to close the contract for the expansion of C&R." She was furious and irritated.

He frowned, suddenly attracted by the words of his assistant; "What? Miss Kang, that is not up to five days."

"Mr. Han, it's today, I'm in front of the door of the meeting room and they're getting impatient."

However, Jumin could no longer have less interest in the band of thirsty business men who populated that room; his gaze had frozen at some point lost on the wall in front of his bed. His reflection on the screen of his turned off TV gave him a spectral, gloomy version of himself.

"Mr. Han?" She called again, hurriedly. "Mr. Han are you still there?"

Jumin swallowed; Suddenly it had dried all the way from mouth to the end of his stomach.

"Miss Kang?" He called, his voice rough.

There was a brief silence of fear on the line.

"Yes?" - The voice of his assistant was no longer cold and methodical, but fearful, as one who calls the name of an acquaintance when hearing some jaws devour the viscosity of some entrails.

"Could you tell me what day it is today?"

Another silence, this one more confused than the previous one, more leisurely.

"April 17, Mr. Han"

A click ended the call, leaving Jaehee alone with the spectral beep.


	2. Never again

_Jaehee Kang has joined the chatroom_

_ **Yoosung ★: Seven !! Stop messing around !!** _

_ **707: * heart eyes emoji *** _

_ **707: lololol Yoosung please let me do it** _

_ **Yoosung ★: NO !!!!** _

_ **Jaehee Kang: ...** _

_ **707: Oh hey Jaehee!** _

_ **707: * smiling emoji *** _

_ **Jaehee Kang: I won't even ask what kind of medieval torture Luciel is trying to put you under, Yoosung** _

_ **Jaehee Kang: I just came to see if Mr. Han was here** _

_ **Yoosung ★: Is everything alright Jaehee? I've never seen you use those expressions before lolol** _

_MC has joined the chatroom_

_ **MC: Wow, what a fuss is going on in here** _

_ **MC: Hi guys, how are you?** _

_ **707: MCCCCC ♥♥♥♥** _

_ **707: What do we have for lunch?** _

_ **MC: ..... Oh yes, Saeyoung, I love you too. Yes, my day was magnificent; Oh, I miss you too -_-** _

_ **707: ^^ '** _

_ **707: Oh look !!! I have to go solve some issues ...** _

_ **707: I'm** _

_ **707: Le** _

_ **707:a** _

_ **707:ving!** _

_ **707: *POOF!*** _

_ **707: * whispering * Yoosung, ask her what we have for lunch to my girlfriend and tell me later *** _

_ **MC: ...** _

_ **Jaehee: ......** _

_707 has left the chatroom_

_ **Yoosung ★: lolololololol** _

_ **Yoosung ★: He's going to sleep on the couch, right? Lolol** _

_ **MC: Yup** _

_ **Jaehee: MC, I'm sorry to bother you, but please tell me you've received news from Mr. Han ...** _

_ **MC: No Jaehee ... What's up? I notice you ... Downcast ..** _

_ **Yoosung ★: Yeah, Jaehee, what's wrong?** _

_ **Jaehee Kang: This morning I called Mr. Han on his phone because he had an important meeting and he wasn't nowhere to be found** _

_ **Jaehee Kang: Mr. Han is never late, if he is not going to attend a meeting at least he notifies me one hour in advance** _

_ **Jaehee Kang: But not this time** _

_ **Jaehee Kang: And then he asked me what day it was and when I told him the date he hung up automatically** _

_ **Yoosung ★: Wow, that doesn't sound like Jumin at all** _

_ **MC: And you say he doesn't answer calls?** _

_ **Jaehee: Calls, texts, the messenger ... I'm about to rent a plane that writes his name in the sky.** _

_ **Yoosung ★: lololololol** _

_ **Jaehee Kang: Don't laugh** _

_ **Yoosung ★: Sorry, sorry** _

_ **MC: You know that Jumin sometimes takes his own breaks a bit ... Out of the blue** _

_ **MC: Maybe he had an argument with his father and decided to take the day off** _

_ **Jaehee Kang: * sighing emoji*** _

_ **Jaehee Kang: Whatever happens in Mr. Han's life, it means more work for me ...** _

_ **Yoosung ★: Hang in there Jaehee, we're cheering for you!** _

_ **MC: Yes! As soon as we know something about Jumin, we'll call you** _

_ **Jaehee Kang: Thank you very much. If you excuse me, I must leave; the meeting must begin** _

_ **MC: Of course, good luck!** _

_ **Yoosung ★: Good luck Jaehee** _

_ **Yoosung ★: * smiley emoji *** _

_Jaehee Kang has left the chatroom_  
  
  
[••♪••]

He didn't bother calling driver Kim.

Calling him would have meant leaving a first clue that Jumin was gone, and would have wasted a lot of time.

After hanging Jaehee, Jumin flew to his closet, showered, dressed and ran to the door. Beside him, two huge men dressed in black waited, silent as watchful hawks.

"Where are you going, Mr. Han?" One of them asked, even though Jumin thought he dreamed it, since not a single muscle seemed to move in their fibrous body.

"I'm going to work" He lied, "I've decided to rest a little more, since last night I was extremely tired."

"We will notify Mr. Ki–"

"That won't be necessary," Jumin interrupted, beginning to get impatient. "I prefer to drive on my own."

"Yes sir." Ended up accepting the security man, falling silent again like a grotesque golem of human flesh.

Jumin left the floor and went down to the garage, where the official car, and his personal car gleamed in dark shades of blacks and grays. Knowing that if he took his company car he would only face more delays, he decided to take his personal car; It was a gift from his father when he graduated from college. But he hardly used it since he had driver Kim.

Before he had time to consider and reconsider his plans, he was already leaving the garage. And as soon as he could, he stepped on the accelerator until he touched the end of the pedal. His body was dragged by the roaring speed of the racing car, his chest pressed by the wind that entered like a furious gust through the driver's window.

«How, how could I forget it? " He thought; his own thoughts seemed eaten away by rage.

His hands clung to the leather of the steering wheel, hearing it protest under his palms, feeling every fine wrinkle in the phalanges of his fingers.

«How have I allowed myself to forget it? »

The furious wind adhered, freezing, to the thin line that had been drawn down his cheeks, to blur when they reached his jaw. He felt the cold against the vulnerable skin of his neck.

"Jihyun." He murmured, and something in the depths of his carbons irises caught on like a slender and furious column of fire when he returned, unconsciously, to what his awakening took from him:

_Jihyun rubbed his eyes under the soft blanket of a dawn contained behind the curtains. His small hands, profiled but always with some bright paint color on them, (in this case it was yellow on the dorsal of his left thumb and at the tip of his right pinky), disappeared under the covers when Jihyun had stretched._

_A kind and humble smile preceded a sigh, and his mint-blue eyes scanned his face. Jumin felt a slight sting in his chest that he decided to ignore –, Jihyun would be able to call the maids._

_"Good morning, Jumin." He greeted, giving a couple of millimeters to his still half-awake smile. Jumin felt his cheeks burn._

And as fast as light invaded his pupils, and fire his cheeks remembering how his name had always sounded in the voice of his best friend; the light faded and the fire on his face began to burn his chest.

«That **used to **be the way my name sounded. But it will never be like that again, right, Jihyun? Never. »

«Never. »

"Never... "


	3. Where is Jumin?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BEFORE YOU READ!!! 
> 
> This part includes words that may affect readers such as f*g. I do not feel identified with this thoughts or expressions. If someone at home is using it against you don't listen to them and just remember that love is free and nothing to feel ashamed of!! 
> 
> Enjoy your read!

_"Father, father look!" Jumin pleaded, standing on tiptoe to get his father's attention. "Look, I made you a gift!"_

_Mr. Han looked at his only son, he was barely ten years old; a small red and dark tie like the carmine on his lover's lips slid around his neck. His hands clutched a notebook._

_"What is it, son?" He asked; A small smile peeked on his wise lips as he reached for the notebook._

_He turned the pages one by one, all with a flower, or a leaf, or a twig, or a clover. They all had some piece of somewhere. Around him, his son's careful lyrics clustered in organized paragraphs. In the upper margins it read, "Zeus, father of all gods. »_

_"I know Zeus' is your favourite story. Zeus was a great father to his children, or so the books say; so I wrote the whole story just for you, father." Jumin confessed proudly._

_However, his father seemed to distort the gesture._

_"Although I adore the gesture, son ... A young man cannot do things ... Like this." Mr. Han explained, leaving the notebook on the table._

_"What do you mean, father?" Jumin began to feel the need to call his mother. But he couldn't, because his father and mother no longer loved each other; his father explained it to him long ago._

_"I mean that these kind of gifts are made by girls, and the boys who do femenine giftd are fagots." Gradually, the calm voice of his father was gaining hardness, taking the appearance of a judge who sentenced._

_"What is being a fag?" Jumin asked again, his brow slightly furrowed in innocent and scared confusion._

_"They're the boys who fall in love with boys, son."_

_Jumin swallowed; in his pupils the small flame that cracked from the chimney shone._

_"Father, what is falling in love?"_

_This time Mr. Han laughed._

_"Falling in love is ... Wanting to always be with a person, and that your day improves when you see her, and that your heart beats with a lot of force when you see her..." He explained, looking sweetly at the figure next to him ._

_Jumin fiddled with the hem of his black sweater, although it was only to dry the sweat of his hands._

_"And to want to touch their hair all the time, father?" He asked._

_"Yes, that too."_

_"And to feel your chest burn when they hug you?" His father nodded. "And when they smile, something inside your gut itches?" He nodded again. "And that when they talk you get dizzy and you feel happy and you have to ask them to say it again because you couldn't find out what they said?"_

_"Yes, my son." His father laughed, sitting him on his lap. However, Jumin felt a slight prick; Frosty, not like the ones he felt when Jihyun called him by his name. It was scary. Was Jumin a _ _ **fag** _ _?– "But those are very specific questions, son. I see that there is a girl who has stolen your heart ... Am I wrong?"_

_Jumin looked at his father._

_That word had sounded really ugly in his father's mouth: _ _ **fag** _ _. Jumin didn't want to be a word that sounded ugly, but ... Everything he liked to do with Jihyun was a terrifying green tic on the list to become a fag ..._

**Fag**

**Fag**

**Fag**

_"Yes, father. There is a girl ..."_

In front of him was a wall of fresh flowers of bright colors. He had never known much about flowers, it was Jihyun's mother who had always brought them both closer to nature as much as possible.

"Good morning, gentleman." A girl greeted, probably close to his age, maybe a few years younger. She was holding hands, intertwining fingers over the embroidered apron that read the name of the flower shop. She had blond hair in a ponytail, and the tattoo of a climbing flower peeked out from under her gray pole. "Can I help you?"

Jumin looked a few seconds at the wall of stacked flowers. They were of all colors.

"I would like to make a gift," he explained, turning definitively to look at the young saleswoman.

She smiled; A simple and polite smile. The ponytail danced behind her when he nodded. "A lucky girl? Your wife?"

"I never got married. Nor is it for ... A girlfriend." He looked down at the silhouette of his shoes. "It's for a friend. "

"Well then." She agreed, an innocent laugh escaping her lips.

"So I would like the most expensive bouquet of flowers you have." He snapped, abandoning his self-absorption on the floor tiles. She frowned, confused. "Money won't be a problem, don't worry."

The young woman's eyes examined Jumin; not judiciously, but as if trying to see something in a child hiding candies on his back.

"Sir, may I know your name?" She asked. The polite smile softening, a voice as cautious as sweet.

"Jumin Han."

"Jumin, when I saw you come in with this ... Very expensive suit, and these even more expensive shoes," She pointed out, they both leaned in to observe the aforementioned footwear. "I knew you were surely coming from a wealthy family; or, at least, you don't suffer for money." Jumin frowned slightly, confused, curious. "I am sure that you usually buy the most expensive things under the idea that the more expensive, the better quality, but ..." The clerk reached a lilac flower; It was small, of a soft color and a fine stem. Then she reached a yellow rose whose edges dissolved into vivid roses.

»She turned to look at him, showing both flowers. Jumin looked at her for a moment, and then at the flowers.

"Which would you say is more expensive?" She asked, smiling.

Jumin sighed, disappointed by the simplicity of the question.

"Miss, I work in a recognized company, I know the price of a rose and I know that it is one of the most expensive in the market, although the red or white ones are more expensive by far, the roses are still the most expensive." He answered, sure.

"Although I am flattered that you are so interested in the flower market, you are wrong." She debated, finally gaining Jumin's full attention. She had won. "This is the saffron flower," she explained, handing it to Jumin, who held it carefully. "It costs between 1,200 and 5,000 dollars, and formerly it was a whim that not everyone could afford, just like now."

She watched proudly as Jumin inspected the small flower with red details. His gray eyes outlined the fine fold of it's petals, careful.

"The way money takes history and power from flowers is sad, if I am honest to you. "She sighed, earning the boy's watchful eye again. "You know, Jumin, as a child I always wanted to study psychology, ... But I realized that it was too cold, and that it didn't even come close to what I wanted to see in people ..."

"And what do you want to see in people?" He asked.

"What they don't know how to say; what they fear to confess," she replied. The smile on his lips expanding. "In psychology they _fix_; I don't want to fix broken fabrics, but to encourage people to sew, weave and embroider the cuts." Her hand sought his, raising it between them so that he could see what she saw. Jumin found himself surprised that the sudden contact hadn't startled him, but he remained calm, following the guidance of her fine fingers. She delicately opened his hand, showing the nail marbles on his palm. "... Let them learn not to prick themselves with the needle, and to assume their mistakes."

They exchanged a long visual conversation. Despite the closeness of their bodies merely imposed by her, Jumin didn't feel as if the woman was trying to seduce him, but as a mother who caressed his back in the middle of tears.

»" I don't know who he is, Jumin ... "Her smile softened even more, if that was possible. "But I am sure that the most expensive flowers in the world wouldn't have made him happy. But those that would have made you think of him honestly ..."

He sighed, nodding slowly.

"I recommend the floral fantasy bouquet," She explained, reaching for a copy and handing it to him.

"It is of clear, soft tones ... It makes me think of crystalline rivers and breezes, if I am sincere. We have lisianthus, gerberas, chrysanthemums and limoniums. It isn't a direct message that sends or declares nothing specifically, but is a set of shy flowers, they represent loyalty and eternal love. They are promises that one whispers, like an apology ... "She explained excitedly. Her eyes shone with every detail and every comparison.

Jumin smiled halfway, feeling the heat climb down his cheeks.

"I'll take it," he declared, hearing Jihyun's voice in his mind; His honest laugh, his brave smiles.

She, satisfied, guided him to the counter, leaving the bouquet delicately on the bar.

"See? It's a bouquet of just $ 30 and you can tell the difference." She smiled, preparing the ticket.  
  


[••• ♪ •••]

_ZEN has entered the chatroom_

_ **ZEN: I've read the messages** _

_ **ZEN: * furious emoji *** _

_ **ZEN: That jerk has ditched work again and left it all to Jaehee** _

_MC has entered the chatroom_

_ **MC: Zen! How are you?** _

_ **ZEN: MC! Hello!** _

_ **ZEN: I've taken the break to come and talk to you guys, but ...** _

_ **ZEN: That damn jerk** _

_ **ZEN: * furious emoji *** _

_ **MC: Jaehee was on her nerves ...** _

_ **ZEN: Of course she was! That damn trust fund kid has left her alone without even warning** _

_ **ZEN: What the hell is wrong with him?** _

_ **ZEN: Surely he is at home drinking wine with that fur ball** _

_ **ZEN: * furious emoji *** _

_Jaehee Kang has entered the chatroom_

_ **Jaehee Kang: Hi Zen, hello MC** _

_ **MC: Jaehee! Are there news about Jumin?** _

_ **Jaehee Kang: I came exactly to tell you that ...** _

_ **Jaehee Kang: Security guards said Mr. Han left home to go to work an hour ago.** _

_ **ZEN: What ?????** _

_ **MC: And what did the driver say?** _

_ **Jaehee Kang: As an aggravating factor, Mr. Han wasn't picked up by driver Kim, but told the guards that he wanted to go personally** _

_ **MC: Ok, that is worrying** _

_ **ZEN: Jumin doesn't go anywhere without his driver and security guards, he always takes care of exploiting his privileges** _

_ **Jaehee Kang: I'm very worried about Mr. Han, he has never done anything like this before ...** _

_ **ZEN: Has anyone received news from him since Jaehee's call?** _

_ **MC: I have no news of him, and I am sure that if Seven or Yoosung receive news they would tell us without hesitation ...** _

_ **Jaehee Kang: What might that date have to do with all this ...?** _

_ **MC: Maybe is his mother's birthday ...** _

_ **Jaehee Kang: Mrs. Han's birthday is in January** _

_ **ZEN: Of a dead pet?** _

_ **Jaehee Kang: Not that I'm aware of ...** _

_ **MC: The anniversary of V's death...?** _

_ **Jaehee Kang: ... That was in December ... When the date approaches, he stops being productive and ditching work. I always cover him so his father doesn't notice.** _

_ **ZEN: You're very kind for doing that for him, Jaehee ...** _

_ **Jaehee Kang: Thank you, Zen** _

_ **Jaehee Kang: I have to go back to work ...** _

_ **Jaehee Kang: Please, if you receive news from Mr. Han, inform me** _

_Jaehee Kang has left the chatroom_


	4. Why?

After an hour driving, Jumin arrived at the cemetery; bouquet in hand, and a terrible feeling of dizziness.

"Jihyun." He spoke; His voice firm and deep, as usual. In front of him lay a white stone gravestone and gold italic letters. «Here lies Jihyun Kim». Jumin was still unable to read his last name on that cold stone. "Sorry I'm late, I ... I fell asleep."

He sat in front of the grave, crossing his legs. Jihyun never cared if the suit was stained, unlike his father.

"I ... I've dreamed of you again, Jihyun. I've been like this for quite some time, and I really don't have a clue what you intend to tell me with that ..." He confessed, sinking his shoulders in defeat and the most honest tiredness. "What do you want from me? You're not in a position to demand anything from me, Jihyun, you're the One who abandoned me."

There was a respectful silence that enveloped the cemetery; the wind could barely be heard whistling between the petals of the flowers that accumulated at the foot of the slabs that responded on behalf of the deceased. No cars were even heard.

"You abandoned me, Jihyun. But I guess I can't blame you, because it was for love, right?"

_"Jumin, do you mind if I draw you?" Jihyun asked, in the break between their calculus period and religion's. Jumin raised his eyebrows, bewildered, but carefree._

_"Why would you want to draw me when you can draw a pretty girl? I'm sure Ruyu would let herself be drawn by you, I think she likes you." Jumin pointed out, throwing a quick glance at Ruyu, some chairs further back._

_Jihyun laughed, as if he had just heard a good joke, but not so good for a loud laugh._

_"You're right, but I want to draw you." He said, leaving the soft memory of a smile on his lips. His eyes, clear and bright, awaited his response._

_Jumin's cheeks adopted a reddish shadow; "Y-you want to draw me ... And not them?" He babbled._

_Jihyun nodded; "That's what I said, yes."_

Jumin looked at the bouquet he held in his hands as tears gathered in his eyes, burning his throat.

"When I bought these flowers ... The florist girl told me they represented shyness; an apology for not being honest ..." He stroked the petal of one of the white flowers. "... Sometimes I wonder what would've changed if I had told you ten years ago that ... That ..."

_"Hey Jumin!" Jihyun greeted; one of his iconic smiles framed his face. Jumin played with the button on his jacket so he wouldn't slip his fingers over his hair. "Do you want to go on a date with me on Saturday night?"_

_Jumin almost choked on his own saliva. Had he heard correctly? "Date"?_

_"A-a d-date?" He stuttered. Cursing himself a thousand times mentally._

_"Yes! You, me, Ruyu and her friend. Turns out Ruyu likes you, not me!" He said, nudging his ribs slightly._

_Soon, his heart stopped, breaking into pieces. «A date with Ruyu, and he will go with her friend. »_

_Jumin sighed; "I'm not in the mood for dates, Jihyun ..."_

_Jihyun frowned, his smile soon disappeared and replaced by a worried expression. "What's wrong, Jumin?"_

_«I think I'm in love with you, —no, I KNOW I'm in love with you. But neither you seem to see it, nor I have the strength to tell you ... »_

_Surrendering under the worried look of his best friend, Jumin gave up; "No, nothing ... Don't worry. I said it because I still have a lot of economy homework ... But I'll try to go, I promise you."_

_Jihyun regained his loyal smile, sometimes impossible to find, but never disappeared, just hidden well._

_"I knew I could count on you, Jumin."_   
  


He stifled a sob, feeling the strong pressure in his chest invade him again. Suffocating him Choking him.

"God Jihyun how could I be so selfish!" He barked, tears finally rushing down the path down his cheeks. "How could I lie to you every day and then get mad at you for hiding everything about Rika from me...?" His voice now dissolved in tears, weak brittle sobs escaping his throat. "How could I let you die before telling you that I love you ...?"

[••• ♪ •••]

_I just got your messages! -Only piano- Every morning I wake up to the ..._

Zen picked up the phone while turning the pages of his new script. He had been trying to memorize them for hours, but for some reason, he was incapable.

"Yeah?"

"Hi Zen, it's Seven," Saeyoung replied on the other side of the line.

"Seven, is something wrong? Any news about Jumin?" He asked, stopping the monotonous activity of turning pages, suddenly looking static.

"I don't have news about Jumin, but I have a theory ..." He said. Zen could hear the creak of chips from the other side of the line.

"And why don't you say it in the messenger? Why do you call me?" He asked, frowning notoriously.

He heard a silent laugh on the other side. "Because the others aren't in love with Jumin, Zen."

Zen felt a horrible weight on the chest; His lungs emptied, his skin began to burn.

"What the hell are you saying !? Where do you get that nonsense !?" He growled, reluctantly pulling away his script.

This time his laugh was louder. "At this time you always review your scripts, but you answered my call and your first question was about Jumin."

His cheeks began to burn. "T-that doesn't explain anything!"

"Okay, okay." He yielded. Zen began to hear a fast typing without end. "I have a lot of work to do here, so I can't explain the conclusion I've reached. I'm going to send you the data I've gathered, and you can choose to share them in the messenger or go yourself to rescue your princess. "Zen almost had to contain a laugh when he heard Seven call Jumin princess, but before he could answer, Seven had already said goodbye and hung up.

Shortly after, Zen received a text from Seven: Jumin had paid with his credit card at a florist 2 hours away by car from where he lived.

«Why would that jerk go to buy flowers? Why so far?"

_"V! Glad to see you're here, how did you get here in time for the party? You live two hours and a half away from here!" MC smiled, hugging him with a dazzling and welcoming smile._

"Could he...? »

_ **ZEN: Seven?** _

_ **Seven: Ya?** _

_ **ZEN: Can you tell me in what year V started going to Jumin's school?** _

A few minutes passed before Seven replied:

_ **Seven: April 10, 1996** _


	5. Trust fund kid

"Sometimes I want to blame my father for making me believe that what I felt for you was wrong, Jihyun. Sometimes I wanted to force myself to think that you would have chosen me over Rika if I had the courage to tell you that I was in love with you ..." He muttered, his words were slow, pasty, heavy.

Finally, when he saw the moon begin to appear, he decided to stand up, leaving the bouquet next to the white stone slab. He wiped the tears on the back of his hand, taking a deep breath.

"I miss you, Jihyun ... I hate that you have to be up there alone."

Jumin walked back to his car while going for a walk. He had no special interest in returning home.

_"V, can we talk?" He asked. It was the lunch break, he was in his office. Beside him, a stack of papers._

_"Jumin! Glad to hear your voice. Of course we can talk, what happens?"_

_Jumin took a deep breath; How do you state a question like that? With what words? With what emphasis?_

_"Jihyun, have you ever argued so much with a person that you are opposite poles, but despite that, ...?"_

_"But despite that I feel that I lack the air when I see them?" He guessed. "Yes, Jumin. Just as love can occur in two identical souls, it can also occur in those that are totally opposite."_

Jumin kicked a small stone that was in the way.

_"DAMN JERK, OF COURSE I DIDN'T SAY THAT THINKING OF YOU !!!" Zen barked, his cheeks so red they could explode at any moment._

The street lamps guided his way back to the car, as the stars guided the sailors on the nights of more black storms.

_"Son, if you don't find a wife soon, rumors about your homosexuality will gain strength ..."_

He looked up at the sky, counting the stars.

As a child, him and Jihyun used to read books about Greek mythology; Jumin because they were his father's favorites, Jihyun because Jumin liked to read them. One day, they met the story of Andromeda, the daughter of Cepheus and Cassiopeia, who, for showing off her beauty, angered Poseidon and was sacrificed by her parents to save the earth; Andromeda was chained and stripped to be eaten by a horrible monster. However, Perseus, carrying Medusa's head, asked Cepheus and Cassiopeia for her daughter's hand in exchange for ending the monster, which they accepted. Perseus killed the monster and saved Andromeda, earning her heart.

_"Meow ..."_

_"Elizabeth, don't talk nonsense. I just met him, I don't feel any interest in that impolite boy." Jumin fought, sighing, sarcastic._

_"Meoww"_

_"No, I'm not blushing."_

The streets were in the sepulchral silence of a sleeping neighborhood. Only the buzzing of street lamps and the occasional insects could be heard.

The echo of his footsteps haunted him, as did the spooky spectrum of his shadow.

"You've fallen in love twice in your life, Jumin Han ..." He said, sighing. "And in non of them have you had the courage to confess it to yourself."

Suddenly, a paralyzing roar shook the street, encrispating the asphalt.

A white light painted the road, announcing the presence before the silhouette; a motorcycle with the power of a furious tiger roared down the street, couldn't recognize the driver.

He continued walking, assuming he would be one of Jihyun's neighbors, or father of some young family.

However, the motorbike stopped by his side. The headlights went out, and the driver began to take shape.

"Zen?" Jumin called, confused, frowning to focus better.

The man who definitely turned out to be Zen, got off the motorcycle and approached him quickly; Without a word, he grabbed him by the lapels of his suit jacket, bringing their faces threateningly close. He was furious.

"You fucking jerk! Are you aware of how worried everyone is !? Jaehee is losing her mind!!" he bellowed, shaking him fiercely. "And me !? I haven't been able to stop checking the messenger for a second in case someone appeared with any clue where the hell you were !!"

"It's the anniversary of when V and I met. I forgot, Zen, ... I forgot the day I met him ..." Jumin muttered, unable to look him in the eye; His heart was beating at full speed. He felt the seams of his suit protesting the rough treatment of the boy.

Zen sighed, relaxing his grip, letting him go.

"Hey, look, I know what happened to V... Was a tremendous tragedy, but ... You can't live trapped in the past ..."

"Why are you here?" Jumin asked suddenly.

"What? I come looking for you and that's all you have to say?! You fucking jerk...!" Zen cursed, anger re-seizing his face.

"I mean why did you come, specifically. We're supposed to hate each other."

"Well ... Because ... Because someone had to do it!" Zen stammered, blushing violently.

_"You know, Jumin?" MC called, then taking a small drink at her milkshake. "I don't believe that you have never fallen in love, "She smiled." But I think you fell in love sometime and they broke your heart, so you fear falling in love again ... "_

_Jumin looked up from his newspaper, curious. MC looked at him entertainingly._

_"I hope you lose your fear of falling in love and find someone to make you feel at home, Jumin ..."_

"Zen?" Jumin called, interrupting his scolding, which he had completely ignored.

"What? "

"Shut up," he ordered, peeping out a delicate profiled smile.

"You tell me to shut up and you laugh at me !?" And again, Zen was yelling. Jumin felt sorry for the people he would be waking up from their peaceful dream.

Zen continued to scold him and making him see how tired he was of him, to which Jumin couldn't help but laugh– which angered Zen even more.

Jumin stepped forward a bit closer, and closer, and closer.

"I said shut up," he repeated, this time between soft giggles.

"And I said go to hell," Zen said, crossing his arms. "Hey, why are you getting so close?" He asked, starting to back away. Jumin just laughed. "Okay, you've definitely lost your mind; Jumin Han get away from me!"

Yielding to the scarlet-eyed boy's panic, he stopped, unable, however, to stop his laughter. Zen sighed, without looking away, nor discarding his expression of fear.

"You're crazy, trust fund kid." He cursed.

"Zen, may I ask you how did you know where to find me?" He asked, slowly losing the trace of laughter that remained.

"Seven called me ..." He paused a few seconds, his cheeks lighting even more for a fraction of a second. "He called me to tell me he had a theory about where you could have gone; you paid at the florist with your card, so he could track you ..."

"And what conclusion did you come to?"

"That it was related to V; you two were very close since childhood, and I assumed you would be here for him. It isn't the anniversary of his death, nor his birthday, nor the anniversary of his wedding with ... Rika ... "Zen noticed how Jumin flinched by mentioning his name. "This was the first option that came to mind, the day V and you met ..."

Jumin smiled again halfway, except looking at his shoes.

"And ... I suppose it could be said that ... I was worried about you ... "He finally confessed, his cheeks bright red and hot.

There was a long silence between them, you could only hear their breaths and the insects that attributed their melodic orchestra.

"Zen?" Jumin called again.

"Yes?"

"... Thank you for coming looking for me." He muttered, looking into his eyes.

Zen nodded, showing a slight smile of relief; "I hope you found what you were looking for ..."

_"Whatever happens, Jumin ... Always look for what makes you happy."_

_"Jihyun, sometimes what makes me happy, can be crazy."_

_"If following your heart is crazy ... I never want to be sane."_

"Actually ... I still haven't found what I was looking for ..." He announced, approaching Zen again.

Except this time he didn't have time to go back; Jumin advanced in two great strides, evaporating the distance that separated them. He grabbed him by the collar of his jacket, drawing him close and kissed him.

And, for the first time, he felt that he was breathing.

At first, Zen simply petrified himself, holding his breath, his arms rigid. But, slowly, he let himself go, accepting the kiss, and returning it.

Jumin smiled to himself; «What did you say about this jerk, little singer? »He scoffed, putting more emphasis on the kiss, but merging into a victorious smile.

«This is how. This is how it feels to breathe deeply for the first time; to feel your lungs fill, and your hands alive, and not guided by the uncertainty of the action.»

Finally, Jumin pulled away from Zen, looking for his gaze; both had pink cheeks and radiant pupils.

"Now I have found what I was looking for," he declared, then moving away from Zen, leaving him standing there, only under the faint focus of one of the street lamps.

In the distance, Jumin could hear him cursing, swearing and complaining, but he knew that just like he was unable to erase his scent from his head, Zen was unable to forget the feel of his lips.

He looked up at the sky one last time, hearing Zen start the motorcycle. The dark bangs fell on his eyes.

He silently admired each star, trying to draw and blur bridges between them, so they never have to regret being separated from each other. He thought of Andromeda. He thought of Perseus. He thought of Jihyun and Zen. He thought of him. He thought about the last thing Jihyun told him before he died:

_"I'm going to miss reminding you to be happy, Jumin ... Please, I don't want to be selfish, but ... Don't let me become a bad memory to you ..."_

He smiled sadly while sighing slowly.

"Never, Jihyun ... You would never be a bad memory."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not gonna lie, I know this was... A bit shitty lololol I wante dto write something nice but short about my Gay theory of Jumin but I guess I can't ask for apples to a pear tree... 
> 
> Anyway, Hope you enjoyed!!!


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